Entry twenty-five-I woke up from my dream

Friday, February 25, 2005 | 10:27 AM

Last night, I had a dream that I went on a dinner date with William Shakespeare. We talked about Twelfth Night, his sonnets,the new play he was writing. A comedy this time he said. He was interested in my work which wasn't teaching his works oddly enough. I was a professor of literature yes, but not of his literature. I found myself instead talking about Chaucer's Canterbury Tales and how they revolutionized modern writing.

Then, my students started coming into the café we were dining in. Not dream-created students. Students I actually teach Shakespeare to.(Confused yet anyone?)And they started to criticize both Shakespeare and myself. They were taunting us about being literature snobs, how our work wasn't good enough, how I was a terrible professor, etc. Their faces turned from the bright interested faces I knew to cynical sneers and malicious smiles. I woke up in a cold sweat to my alarm clock telling me it was time to get ready for class.

Needless to say my day was shot and now I am glad that Spring Break is coming soon enough. I don't know where I am going to spend it, but the dream was a sharp indication that I need to get away for a short while. Maybe Jovanna will want to travel somewhere for a few nights' stay. I need to see live theatre again. Oy. Oi.

Bring me to a show, leave an email. I'll make a blogback thing soon.

All the world's a stage,
Mischalina

Entry twenty-four-Dreidel, dreidel...

Thursday, December 02, 2004 | 10:37 AM

I am counting down until Hanukkah. Downtown the Christmas celebration has already started in the form of decorations hanging from the street lamps and stores along the main street blaring Christmas music. Truly, I admit that the music is geared toward the dopamine enhancers in one's brain. Christmas is a cheery holiday. Though sometimes the cheer becomes commercial and not so much cheerful as stressful then.

Jovanna wants to celebrate Hanukkah with us this year. I asked Henrich if this would be ok and he said he couldn't see why not. Jovanna's father passed when she was young and her mother most recently became sick. She is being treated for alcoholism and Jovanna cannot stand to see her mother like that. Which I understand all too well seeing Father go through the crippling affects of alcohol. Hopefully by the new year everything will be forgiven. Until then, I am more than happy to open up my home to her. Without Ryan this year is proving to be a terrible one already.

Today the snow started. My landlord was watching the weather forecast when I walked out of my apartment. He called me in through his open doors and we watched the green mass that was approaching us. After a few moments of silence, he started complaining about how his wife was right in getting the snowblower ready. I told him I would continue the tradition of me shoveling the front walk to the apartments. He thanked me and I caught the bus to work. Now the snow has started and I can see that perhaps being a help is not quite a good idea.

All of my thoughts of late have been about starting a family. I suppose it is that internal clock I feel ticking. Also being a thirty-four year old woman who is unmarried and unattached is hard. Mother calls asking if I have yet found someone worthwhile. Saying no is hard to hear. It used to just be hard to talk to Mother about it, but now I realize that my inner feelings are of loneliness. I should have been an actress instead, I would have had three marriages and ten illegitimate children by now.

Currently reading:My emails for I have tons of them lately
Currently listening to:Coldplay-The Scientist
Currently feeling:bittersweet and butterscotch

entry twenty-three-Oh that was so real...

Saturday, October 23, 2004 | 8:10 AM

The play went wonderfully and now maybe I will have more time to update this blog. Silly me kids, I forgot to post an entry after opening night but by the time I got home from the after party, it would have been more like early morning and I was tuckered. But the main thing is I am here now right?

Opening night we had the regular crowd of students come but this year we opened it up to high school students who were in dramatic classes. So before opening night, we had a dress rehearsal for the high schools. I believe twelve high schools from across a tri-county area came. Never have I seen the enrollment in drama classes so high. Oh it is so promising let me tell you. My spirit lifted when I saw most of them were seniors ready to take flight, hopefully to collge. Our college where I can teach them. They all looked so fresh, so full of ideas. Other drama professors were even trying hard to snag them for next semester. Since I am technically an English course professor, I stayed away from the fray and watched with amusement.

Henrich came with his new beau, and I was a little perturbed to see that he had hid Rabbi in one of those dog purses. God only knows where he purchased one of those silly things. Rabbi knows how to behave during a performance however and just sat there taking it all in. He's seen me practicing my lines and I think he picked up the 'owner's working hard, stay out from underfoot' vibe. Good little dog that he is. Jovanna came with her new boyfriend Ed is quite a lot different from Ryan. He is much sweeter to me, which means he is either trying to score brownie points or just a really great guy.

Mother gave me an unexpected call telling me to come to Bordeaux for Chanukah. Now here is a pickle. Yes, deep down I would love to spend more time in France. No, it doesn't have everything to do with that nice worker shush. But Henrich and I were planning our own little thing and this might make him feel bad since he wasn't invited. No, scratch that--he would feel awful if he wasn't invited again. Even though he would play it off as if he didn't mind. Plus, we have Magda to consider too. She wanted to give the States another shot and I would love to have her and Krysia stay with us. Le sigh. Hopefully things will sort in less than month so we can all be together. Oy.

take your bow next to me, leave me an email.

all the world's a stage,
Mischalina.

Entry twenty-two-I'm always underfoot...

Thursday, September 30, 2004 | 11:11 AM

So sorry about the lack of updates. Good lord. How can I forget about this blog so easily. Please forgive my lack of updates. I have been receiving my email. But due to Dean A-hole monitoring me closely when I bring in my laptop, I have not really replied. Other things have led me to go so quickly astray.

I have been working with the drama department to put on a completely professor's production of "Twelfth Night". Every year, the professors who are interested in the arts on a full or even part-time level get together and put on a play for the other faculty, the community, and of course the students to attend. Kind of a fun thing. All the money goes right back to the college. Students of course get in free because they are already paying so much to be there. This year when I found out that they were planning on doing Shakespeare, I immediately volunteered that we do Twelfth Night. Stupidly enough, I also said that having been in a few productions of the piece, I would direct and set up props and costumes. As well as playing the role of Viola. Whoops.

So that is where I have been. Working on sets, putting together scenes, finding actors, directing, shaking my head, and rolling in the aisles. We perform the play on October 15th. I wish that were open for you to buy tickets online or something. However, being a small college, we don't expect people to pay that much to fly and see us from great distances. I am sure that some of my readers would love to see me make an arse of myself/ Let's just hope this all goes swimmingly. Yes? Agreed.

Classes are going well of course. My students and I have come to that understanding that usually happens in about the third week. Things are settled down now and learning is in full swing. I think that they appreciate having a professor who doesn't want to lecture at them but rather wants to know what they think. What they believe. I have to thank my professor Mrs. Ozlewski for that. Good Polish woman with wonderful teaching methods. God rest her.

Well off I scoot. To all my wonderful Flatted Fifthers, I will be back and posting as soon as I think of a great prompt to write about. Perhaps I will write about my opening night when it comes around.

listening to:"The Watchtower"-Dave Matthews version
thinking:where oh where has my little dog gone...
feeling:stressed and pms-ish..not a good combo

all the world's a stage,
Mischalina.

Entry twenty-one-Battle commence

Sunday, September 05, 2004 | 6:10 PM

September 2nd marked the first day of school for me. That is where I have been lately. If you were worried about me at all that is. Before then I had lesson plans to work on and I started that novel I promised you all in the beginning of my blog. Two chapters and nineteen pages later, I am feeling wonderful.

Right now I should be working on my essay idea. Our first reading was the famous Sonnet 18 and everyone groaned. I was silly in believing it would be new blood to them. But what they don't know is how in-depth I am going to make them think about it. How much they will be bringing up feelings of high school loves and losses. We all deal with them differently. What was Shakespeare saying about love and loss? What was the greatest contradiction? Blah blah blah. You get the picture. I can also see you falling asleep.

Other than working, I have been socializing a lot more. Tonight, I have two concerts to go to. Some kind of a benefit dance for cancer research. One of the college bands is playing. The other concert is more of a costume party thrown by the symphony orchestra. Every year they hold a costume gala to raise money for new percussion instruments and concert hall rentage fees. I am Henrich's date. Which makes me proud that he chose me instead of one of his millions of gay/straight friends or ex-boyfriends. Or any current boyfriend he might have that I don't know about for that matter. But no, he chose his darling older sister to show off tonight. So I will be the most stunning Juliet any of them will ever see.

Tomorrow is Labor Day. Wonderful day for all of you I imagine. Meanwhile, we still have afternoon classes which means I don't really get the day off. College kids get to sleep off the weekend parties and I can sleep off the champagne. Then it's back to work. Yippee woo-ha. Let me supress my ever undying enthusiasm for all that is the first few weeks of classes. *yawns*

Oops, I better dash. Henrich is giving me the 'let's frigging go already' look I know and love(to hate)so well. Please have a wonderful Labor Day weekend on me. Well, what's left of it at least. [To all my Flatted Fifth Friends, I will be writing about my September remembrances shortly. Bear with me.]

Take me out steppin', leave me a comment.

all the world's a stage,
Mischalina.

Entry twenty-She was a daytripper...

Tuesday, August 24, 2004 | 4:55 PM

Well I am back from Six Flags and the mall. What a wonderful day it was. I should get out of this dreadfully small apartment once in awhile and just spend the day in parts unknown. Too bad I realize this at the end of summer. Oh well, I guess there is always next year.

My neck is killing me. I am leaning against this computer chair which is not the most comfortable computer chair known to man, with an ice pack slung around my neck. Rollercoasters are not for those who are over the age of thirty. Or in my case, have had joints like someone over the age of thirty for their entire lives. Jovanna made me go on every rollercoaster in the park. No ifs, ands, or buts. Which means since the park was pretty dead, we did everything twice. Superman, Iron Wolf, Vertical Velocity, Raging Bull, American Eagle, Viper, Batman, Deja Vu, and the Demon. Over and over again until my neck felt as if had cracked in half. And let me tell you, walking all over creation to get in line is not a picnic. Thank the God of my ancestors that lines were not long. Otherwise we would have had to been standing there for an hour at a time. Listen to me, poo-pooing the great time we had. Starting to sound like Mother.

Shopping was great too. Outlet malls have to be the most interesting designs on the planet. Besides rollercoasters and breast pumps. I bought myself a nice Windsor dress that was originally $146.50 and when I bought it I paid $10. Plus, I bought two new shirts from Hollister. And another shirt from Forever 21. Spent only forty bucks. That was with Jovanna talking me out of buying an amazingly cute maroon messenger bag from Gap. I'm telling you that I am regretting that officially. Now what am I supposed to haul all my Shakespeare material in? Plus I picked up the 13 Going on 30 soundtrack at FYE. Those songs bring me back a little and the movie was cute. Jennifer Garner doesn't even trip my trigger. But start talking about Mark Ruffalo, and then I pay attention. I'm sorry where was I...? I sometimes forget that people don't like to read this kind of fluff. But deal with it people. Today was a day for fluff.

I cannot wait to see my students' reactions when I wear my "I lost my marbles" shirt. They'll agree, the smartasses.

Listening to:"Vienna" by Billy Joel
Thinking:Should have bought that messenger bag
Feeling:Like I am missing all the spinal fluid en route to my brain

I love pina coladas, leave me a comment and escape.

all the world's a stage,
Mischalina.

Entry nineteen-Operator please hold my calls

Monday, August 23, 2004 | 9:21 AM

I have not been answering my phone for the past few days. Henrich is waiting for an important phone call about a possible position and I have been trying to avoid all phone calls pertaining to my schedule change. Dean A-hole has really been burning holes in his little "feelers" over this situation, I can tell. This is sarcasm I am using because he has not called me. Though if he did, I suppose Henrich would beat me to the phone and pick up anyway. Let him listen to Dean A-hole for once. He can deal with assholes better than I can.

My cell phone has been too busy calling Jovanna making sure that things are getting better. She was in knots for awhile. This whole week was spent in a wine-soaked crying fit. I can understand this feeling of total loss in control. When Abraham left me, I felt the exact same way. The only meaningful difference is that Abraham never promised me forever and Ryan did to Jovanna, which is what that little diamond rings entails. My own thinking that Abe and I were forever was the problem. Jovanna wasn't thinking selfishly when she planned out her forever with Ryan. Ryan was the selfish one. No matter how many times I tell her however, she refuses to blame him. Still, she wants to go to Six Flags tomorrow, which means I have to find my ticket. EEK! Under all this paperwork mess I have, and all these lesson plans, I am sure it has suffocated!

I was wrong about when classes started. Obviously, they would not be starting on a Sunday. That would be some form of blasphemy or sin. They are starting on September 2. Last year they started August twenty-ninth. That is perhaps how I became confused. Who knows? It could be any number of things tripping me up lately. All this foggy mire is floating about in my cranium and I don't know how to clean it out. Shaking my head back and forth only creates a headache the size of a Buick. Perhaps I need to lay down and do the one thing I promised never to do again: take a nap. Dear god, I cannot believe I just typed that. Forgive me.

Now I am off to go and take my mind away from all that is work and heartache and Dean A-hole. It is time for me to lose myself in the latest novel I am devouring. Currently it is "Garden Angel" by Mindy Friddle. Having myself a bit of a hard time getting around the very Southern feel of it. Southern versed literature has always been a heavy thing to get around, since the slang is so thick you have to almost be Southern to understand it.

Listening to:"Oh My My" by Ani Difranco
Thinking:Please have this situation fixed, Dean A-hole
Feeling:Exhausted beyond belief

Read to me in a slow drawl, leave me a comment.

all the world's a stage,
Mischalina.